Happy Love Month!
Now, don’t be such a Love Scrooge because all the stores and streets are plastered with roses, hearts, chocolates, and diapered babies with bows and heart arrows! Today is the first day of what I like to call Love Month February. We have spent November thanking everyone, December showering gifts to everyone, and January still recovering from the credit card we just ran up. So, come February it’s time to take time out for you!
As a fabulously new Single, I am enjoying the freedom of not having to scramble around for a “memorable gift” for the significant other. That aside, it is a relief from being in a relationship. I spent the past half-decade plus one running the races to a blissful happy ending; however, along the way I forgot to stay true to myself and my values. On the outside, I was picture perfect (career, house, car, money, friends, and more) but inside, I was taking personal compromises that hurt others and most importantly, it hurt my soul. For what? For him? For the relationship? Like many women (come on now, be honest with yourself) have gone back to situations similar to this because of “love” but more so we stayed for comfort. “I know he/she knows me and I knew them.” “We have history together” (in my case, it dated back to our childhood). “We’ve gone through a lot and we made it through.” We could get into the psychological aspect of codependency or what not but we’ll leave that for another blog post, however, we made excuses for our relationships instead of making our way out of one.
Ladies. I’ve heard it all because I said them all! Comfort. I was comfortable! I didn’t want to have to go back into the dating world nor have to go through the motions of getting to know someone else. But in the process, I learned that when you think you hit a breaking point but stay, doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you still have faith. You will know when you’re done. Everyone has a breaking point and it varies from one heart to another so step back and find out how much you can tolerate and set your boundaries!
An amazing woman once asked me, “What are YOU fighting for?” Now don’t confuse this for “What are you fighting about?” When I could no longer come up with an answer to justify the tears and hurt, I knew I was in over my head. When I realized I was D-O-N-E with my Ex it was a strange epiphany because I knew I loved him but I instantly remembered that I loved myself more. (Yes, sometimes we do forget!) A huge mass of weight was lifted off my heart because though it hurt, I could finally breathe! So, now I’m return back to ME and my values.
1) Go ahead and compromise your values! When you do, that’s when you realize they are THAT important to you.
2) Get uncomfortable! Try something that you haven’t done before that you’ve always wanted to! Dare to wear the red lipstick!
3) Embrace this month (as each one afterwards) on loving you for you.
For those who are coupled up and will be “cupcaking” then remember to respect your Love’s values and dreams!
Single or not, don’t dread the next 14 days! I’ve learned through the years is that it’s easier to welcome than refuse a situation and take in what you can. So welcome Valentine’s Day because all the chocolates go on half off the following day! Just saying, there’s an upside to everything!
See you on Life’s Runway,
P.S. Now that we’ve helped the mind and heart, read my post about embracing the racy reds into your wardrobe!