We lose ourselves in the things we love. We also find ourselves there, too. – Kristin Martz
We spend our entire life (or the majority of it) figuring out who we are, what we believe, what we stand for, and where we belong. Once we have the slightest inkling of an idea of who that person is, we spend even more time trying to convince others of it!
The most important point I’d like to make is that it’s completely acceptable that we drown ourselves in what we love – whether that be in our hobbies, passions, relationships, careers, or our dreams. As we continue to love the things in love, their love can be temperamental, so temperamental that we begin to doubt our love for them. But as humans, we still love what we shouldn’t love. That’s what makes us amazing creatures because no one can tell us different.
There were relationships I’ve had that questioned my own existence and challenged me to stand by the person I spent years developing and creating. I was so engulfed in the relationship to prove my love for that person or to fit in, that I questioned the person I was. Every time I didn’t chose my family or friends, my hobbies, my passions, and I began to compromise what I loved for something that didn’t share the same interests, I was losing pieces of me. One relationship I had, the person didn’t take my interest blogging, fashion, or literature and it because quite difficult for me to relate to him because he couldn’t relate to me! If he attempted, he would humor my interest with a “That’s great babe, you’ll do fine” as if I was some child he wanted to shoo away. He didn’t have to be interested in what I had interests in, I just wanted him to be interested because I was interested. That relationship obviously didn’t last. Another relationship had me jump through hoops for his schedule because he and I had a long distant relationship. I started to value his time more than my time because I thought I was compromising. So, I would miss out on invites from friends and family because of I our time together, only to be canceled on. That relationship obviously didn’t last. Another relationship had a person that overly criticized who I was because I didn’t have the same beliefs as he did; however, I wanted to be open-minded so I went with it but found that I compromised my dignity. Again, this relationship obviously didn’t last.
Now, I know what you may be saying, “I would never let myself be changed by someone. I am me and will always be me.” Great. I do know that Team Kristin stars Confidence, Self-Respect, and Strength but slowly my team was changing in various ways in these relationships because I simply wanted to try different things. These relationships started recruiting Insecurity, Paranoia, and Self-Destruction. I didn’t want that team! We were a losing and unhappy team and the relationships only got worst and went beyond what I could fix. I needed the real Team Kristin back and quick!
Do I regret these relationships? No. I know these relationships made me lose myself but they only made me realize that the real me is so awesome and I found myself again. But in finding myself, I took those lessons with me. How can you rise if you don’t fall?
Simultaneously, losing yourself doesn’t necessarily have to be in a relationship. You can lose yourself in the careers and habits we choose. When we get so engrossed with work or any project that we become a race horse with blinkers on. We become so focused on what’s in front of us that we can’t see around us – you lose sight of you and your purpose. Even as I write this blog, I was so focused on what it HAD to be rather than what I wanted it to truly be. I had to take a step away from blogging to find out what I wanted to do with it. How I can become inspired again. Do yourself a favor and don’t be scared to get lost but also know that you do have confidence (whether big or small) to find your way back to the real you…you DID manage to get started on that project right?
The great thing about losing yourself, is finding yourself.
It’s always the greatest reunion.
Quote inspiration is from Kristin Martz’ Flickr photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/martzart/5715818659/